As my groomsman, I expect you to learn the Thriller dance with me before next September.
Too much gin, very little bucket
you make it seem like sunflower seeds and pinot grigio are not in the food pyramid.
I guess you don't realize how much twelve bags of chips are, until they're all over your floor.
No stds, not pregs, and lost two pounds. I'd call that a successful two years of grad school.
the russians are downstairs with the vodka loudly proclaiming happy birthday america. i don't care if it's the fourth, i care that it's 9 am and they woke me up.
I think i accidentally made vodka pancakes
does it count as a threesome if she tried to blow the dude who was passed out next to us?
one night of dollar margs at dinner and dollar beers at the bar later, i am throwing up in his shower and gurgling soap and water to kill the taste of sin in my mouth. dollar days need to stop endng like this.
you said you wanted to feel how much my penis weighed for educational purposes
I vaguely remember you trying to make me a casserole with marshmallows and a can of beer.
Someone had written "Boxmonsterette" on the bathroom wall and I just knew you'd been here.
Well, I washed his beard with dish soap and then I fucked him three times.
Sorry for prompting a philosophical penis discussion at 10:45 on a Friday night.
we went to the skate park then back to her house for dinner, and somehow that ended with her making me blueberry pancakes at 2am
Randomize
