There are few people I can ask this w/o being looked at as insane... Do you ever some days get fascinated by how amazing your own breast look?
When she sits down, she uses her fat rolls like an arm rest.
please stop referring to my baby as "your little fucker"
I just found her phone in the quesadilla maker...
I just woke up wearing the O-ring from my dildo harness as a bracelet. Classy.
His personality is sparkling but nothing beats his ass
Sometimes I envy you, when I'm not praying for your soul.
Question: should I be considering heels or is this the kind of night where I should plan on falling on my face regardless of my choice of footwear?
So not the biggest tits he had his cock between. He could have lied.
I just looked at your pics on Facebook....there was cake? Where the fuck was I!?
I just walked out topless, stared his brother straight in the eye, and ate all the rest of their cookie dough.
You tell anyone I'm rocking out to Pitbull in an economy, base-model car, I'll kill you.
I went to a party last night....I stole all of their ornaments and the toaster oven.
I twisted my ankle while drunkenly playing in my adult kickball league. Now I'm having to use my grandpa's cane to walk at this party. I am so single.
My new favorite word is dickbag. I think its relevant here. And I say that with all the love in the world.
Randomize