I just woke up in bed next to my teacher. Does that mean I'm passing now?
When my kids ask how I lost my virginity Im going to have to tell them of a mythical thing called "Myspace" and how strangers could lure you into their "den of love" thanks to clever quotes and graphics
I see an opportunity for you to use your nakedness to cure my boredom.
That should be a holiday. like easter. but bulges instead of baskets
When I say rough sex, and show you scars from past encounters, pulling my hair a little IS NOT GOING TO CUT IT. And he just doesn't understand.
Whatever you gave me is making me lactate
I will not fill you in on the details until we get back, so do not ask. I got peed on by the girl I was hooking up with last night.
The guy I met last night said we had a real connection and gave me his AA coin because he met me during his relapse
When you get here, kick me in the balls. It's really important. - I'll explain later.
I'm not trying to be dramatic but if someone makes you choose between getting a Brazilian or dying. For the sake of your sanity just fucking die
So our annual Dick Trip has been tentatively scheduled for the week of July 1 - 5. This years theme is "Fucking for Freedom".
Sorry for trying to baptize you last night
You knew the entire thing in Latin I was so impressed
Dude, running 15 min late.
Let's play a game, you pay for all the drinks I can finish before you get here. Go.
My sister gave me satin sheets. We can fuck on satin sheets.
He made me cum 3 times, then immediately after sex packed a bowl and passed it to me. Yeah.. I'll keep him.
Randomize
