yes i saw that this morning. it was my mailbox.
just woke up and he was jacking off in the corner.. am i being punked?
he shattered multiple jars of jelly against his roommates doors last night. this morning the asian one wouldn't even talk to him because he thought he was gonna get beaten up
I just found a beer pong ball in my mail box. I think its a sign
I couldn't walk, so he carried me all the way home; and then I told him that I wasn't drunk enough to fuck him. Poor kid.
you should give me head with plastic fangs in
According to the stories I've heard I decided I was a stuntman after my 6th shot of Jack
I hope the walls stop moving before my manager notices that i'm still drunk.
you left saying you wanted to "go piss on that girl's doorstep" and we didn't see you the rest of the night
that actually explains a lot
All that fucking tequilla made my head feel like it's inside of a body builder's asshole. He's doing squats.
Seriously, I'm making a calendar and marking off the days with little penis's
You need Xanax blowdarts
Is it bad I'm drunk at orientation
You've been there for 12 hours, what are you supposed to be doing
Not be drunk
His Australian accent during sex made me think I was in an Outback Steakhouse commercial
I mean, he’s listed as “Andrew DC Threesome” in my phone. THATS HOW I REMEMBER HIM! How is that not the start of a fairytale?
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