1. Call me if you need ANYTHING. 2. If you get tag teamed, I want details.
Im gonna name my vag after egypt, "the valley of kings"
was it mean of me to chase him screaming "DO YOU EVER WANT TO BE ABLE TO HAVE CHILDREN?!"?
I was giving him head and when I deep throated him he screamed out "Ohh, top ten!"
he even offered to make my bed in the morning.
Just so you know, you're MY booty call. Feel degraded.
I have now added draft and wells specials that different bars have to my blackberry calendar.. Help me.
I want to throw pennies on her stage, or just ripping up a dollor bill and throw them one at a time.
PLEASE. I won't throw up on the floor this time. Or fuck in the bathroom. Or dance on the pool table. So PLEASE.
He took off his priest costume and proceeded to dryhump the teletubby.
I just threw up in my front yard because my roommate was in the bathroom. Fuck New Years Day.
He's hot and has an accent therefore you don't ask questions when he tells you to take your pants off.
Reasons I shouldn't drink... My twitter drafts keep getting more and more emotional.
I woke up in the bathroom clutching a stuffed shark. My night was fantastic, thanks for asking.
It was a good thing I was on the balcony flashing those guys or I would have never seen her skipping to his car
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