I don't know what's worse, the fact that my parents own a sex swing or the fact that my little cousin was playing on it
I found a wheel chair. there is now a high chance im going to be fired from this job
going to class with no bra.. is that saying "i don't give a fuck i'm one hour away from thanksgiving break?"
Doing lines and watching a show on hot dogs around the world ... Why do I do this to myself
thats the 2nd threesome ive been accused of this week
Circumcision scars are like fingerprints. I think I'm on to something man.
It's all good. The CSI guy came and I played the theme song while he in was in our place. The cops even laughed.
Twas the night before the bachelor party, and all thru the house...not a creature was stirring, not even a stripper?...
We are there now. They have a giant cock and balls with an eagles face and wings.
Drank for free all night and I'm not even sleeping w the bartender. What is this magic?
FOUND: my underwear in the cabinet above the toilet. What the actual fuck.
Did my married ex-boyfriend really tell me that he prays for me? Fucking Judas
Vodka and cigarettes aside, my body is a temple.
My vagina still hurts from yesterday. That's the last time I think riding a mop bucket is a good idea. Don't let me do that again
Worst sex ever! He was a talker for sure! I was on top and out of no where he said "Oh you bad bitch?" I stopped and left.
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