Is it possible to be promiscuous but in a classy way?
Her dad smelled like someone lit a fart and burned their ass hairs.
Yeah. He most definitely jizzed himself in the face.
So... My dad just saw the Plan B package and the beer cans in my backseat.
Oh its cool I'm sure he already knows you're a whore and an alcoholic.
Last night when I was hammered I set a reminder to tell you that your boobs are my favorite ones in the world, so this is me giving you that message.
You were crying and asking his mom "why doesn't he like road head?"
He asked if I smoke and I said "only fools like you on the basketball court!" Then I started crying. I think I'm about to have my period.
I'd feel sorry for him and his injury but it's an inconvenience for my vagina
Look, all I can tell ya is I want to drink wine out of a bottle while you eat me. It would be the most fantastic end to finals week. Maybe ever.
I'm a college student and my dad gets more ass than I do..... do you see a problem here?
had a dream that i inhaled my pet bird and started choking. Then I tried smoking from a bong and suddenly I smoked myself inside out. this is what happens when I don't smoke weed. my brain can't function!
I don't drink nearly as much when I'm coupled, and that's not a lifestyle I can commit to
Once you've had an oral std scare, you're an expert.
Can I just go naked and covered in glitter?
Well I typed "penicillin a" into the search engine and before I could finish "penicillin and drinking" popped up. Google knows me too well.
Randomize
