if there is a rhyme for it it must be true
I'm 99% sure that for 3 hours I thought you were British. We must smoke that again.
Woke up wearing just a scarf, the holidays are definetly here
the threesome consisted of him fingering dana while i laid next to them watching how i met your mother.
The venue for the new years party is close to the hospital for obvious reasons.
He's claiming he can open a beer bottle with anything. He's been trying for a while now with a power rangers action figure and he is just cutting the hell out of his hand. There is blood all over billy
TONIGHT IS GOING TO BE A FUCKING BLAST. EVEN IF I HAVE TO SET OFF A BUNCH OF FIREWORKS IN YOUR KITCHEN.
I woke up to a quacking alarm clock and a rando in my bed. I told him I liked his cargo shorts. Fireball is not my soulmate anymore.
Yeah I'd rather get obliterated at home.
Same here. I'd like to ensure that I won't get pissed on.
I made out with a guy because he ate a grape lollipop and he tasted delicious... not my proudest moment.
I'm smoking a bowl in my bathtub. I'm meant to be alone.
when I was walking home I wad so excited to see a cat on the sidewalk but it was really a traffic cone
I may or may not have spiked my gatorade to get through a game of monopoly with these children.
omg girl... i cut your hair last night. tell me it looks okay!? i saw hair on the counter and i said ohhh nooo
Drunk man just fell out of said wheelchair
Randomize
