living well may be the best revenge, but it doesn't hurt that my exhusband is now dating a BEAST.
Nhdgh I love you very much hello becausevs. Vagina pensiono
I should never bitch about not getting laid. He's begging me to come over and I'm saying no because I'm watching a Golden Girls marathon.
theyre doing DJ Khaled impressions again...
His ankle bracelet only gets in the way when I'm trying to take off his pants.
i googled waterboarding like you asked. as long as you do it outside. we have carpet. but i wont be a part of it.
It's not like I'm never gonna put out again. I'm a sure thing. I promise.
At one point I went looking for you and found you handcuffed to a chair. I'm pretty sure you handcuffed yourself. I don't know how you got there.
We all have to be good at something. Mine are writing, drinking, fucking and peer pressure.
I can't! Its just like the night that I bathed you, I didn't tell anyone.
I’m going to try to be less of a cryptic bitch this week. Should be nice.
The most adult decision I've mad today was Jameson or Fireball? It's been a successful Day
I called 911 when they kicked me out of the bar last night.
I fucked him on shrooms. His dick looked like a missile and he had snakes coming out of his ears. It. Was. AWESOME!
should i feel bad about fucking you on my front lawn the day before you set me up with your best friend?
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