he is fucking friends with his exwife on facebook, but he defriends me after 3 dates? am i that crazy?
She keeps referring to it as an "us" Either she is seriously mistaken on what fuck buddies are or she learned another meaning of the word "us"
I drunk madeout with my mom last night. it's guna be an awkward breakfast.
Please tell me how you drunkenly remembered your social security number when we were checking you into the ER.
Then you screamed "fuck her like shes not your sister tonight" at the people walking down the road.
It's the eternal vodka... it never seems to go away
I took my shirt off and stood in the kitchen for an hour and a half talking to his parents about my tattoos
I just ASL-ed someone for the first time since 2002.
Let me tell you how my drug dealer wants me to take his girlfriends little sister to jr prom
You should be glad you didn't come with last night. I watched pirate porn for the first time in my life as the 9th wheel.
It's getting harder and harder to find People to carry her home
She shouldn't drink
You were petting your bowl of cocoa puffs and shushing it softly while staring at the mirror
I washed my sheets. I did out of respect for my previous and current sexual partners.
My girlfriend is so strong now. Like on the one hand its kind of hot because she can pin me down during sex, but on the other hand she picked me up and carried me bridal style at the company bbq.
I have beer and butt plugs...pretty sure I will find a way to entertain myself while I wait
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