Fuck you I wanted that fabulous flaming homo to win american idol...its like we lost the gay marriage vote...again
At what point in time did you decide the pot head with Taco Bell was more important than all your friends.
At about the same time you guys weren't burritos.
can you put a coffee maker in the dish washer? yo know what, nvm i want to be surprised
The only coherent words in the 6 texts i recieved were don't, cute, fucking, beer, and lions
he prob just wants to be friends and here i am photoshopping our kids
I wasn't sure how he was going to followup "so,i shot myself.." i guess "w a nail gun" is the best choice out of what I expected
The trashcan full of everclear punch caught on fire...you should probably come home now.
Everyone is now just referring to it as "the night Hannah couldn't get laid" so needless to say you didn't miss much
I have a magical vagina and I can't deny it anymore
I went out with a plan. I came home with a Brian. THIS WAS NOT PART OF THE PLAN.
tbh I think I just dated him for his dogs in the first place.
This weekend was amazing, 4 confirmed pukings, 2 cops, 3 hookers, one photographed t-bagging of the groom, and a night in an illegal gambling house.
They gave me 4 meds at the health center and said not to take alcohol with any of them. Guess ill wait until tomorrow to feel better.
I was dressed as Waldo and the cops kept saying looks like we fuckin found you
You were like a drunk and unconscious tickle me elmo.
Randomize
