I'm peeing chunks and puking liquid. Did I at least have fun last night?
Why were you high on a thursday?
today's a wednesday
I asked first.
Microwaved placenta is very unpleasant.
Can't wait to go see my drug dealers baby being born. He rolled all of the "it's a boy" cigars into blunts.
I just remember thinking that if i ran really fast through the house, no one would notice i was naked.
One of my other friends found me and the dog in the back seat of this one guy's car....I don't even know
say it with me now .. the "golden" penis. his nickname does not disappoint.
I'm really sorry I gave you road head last night and made you drive over and break the sprinkler system.
I can't find the keys to get out of my front door, there are random socks in my bicycle basket and I can see a plastic handle of cheap vodka sitting on my porch. oh, and my head just broke u with me.
I'm very fluent in vodka, but that seems to be a whiskey dialect.
your like the ambassador to my penis.
All I know is....there's beer in my camera. How do I know? Because I can pick up my camera,shake it and HEAR, the beer in it
So somehow today's lecture on the immune system turned into me having to stand up and explain female ejaculation to the class.
Btw there's a hedgehog in my room. Don't get it high
He's a real gentleman. At least he tried to flush my closet's handle after he pissed in it.
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