bar tonight had a doorbell to get in and last night i saw my neighbors fuck on the balcony, she wore a nurse outfit. Missouri isn't so bad...
A homeless man in dtwn SF was blasting lil wayne and singing at the top of his lungs. I kinda wanted to give him my life savings
Agreed. Everyone should experience a blackout before 3pm in their lifetime.
At this point the smell of shame has become my natural musk
I'm watching intervention which is getting me psyched for your birthday. Is that wrong?
We need to be on the same page regarding the 3some this time. No more "one of us should probably leave" moments.
The instructions say refer to specific course material, but I'm in no mood to reopen this awful book that caused me so many lost hours of drinking.
Yeah FUCK THAT NOISE
You fell out of the chair and then lifted your foot saying, "If my foot could give you the middle finger it would."
We did hand stand push-ups while beer bonging. Its now a thing
The only thing that got rode last night was the shit face train. I brought him home to see wht all the hype was about and he just started crying and puking in my bathroom.
The party was Hollywood themed and I won an oscar for "finest ass in a leading role"
He told me I smelled like peanut butter, pepperoni, and pure unbrieldled passion.
Two grav bong hits and a shower later and I'm ready for company
It's like you say things that speak to my soul on a deep personal level
I'm both gender and math confused
This is the most aggressive rendition of that Proclaimers song I ever heard.
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