As heartfelt as your proposal was- I will NOT marry for money- especially to someone who still owes me $700. You r officially pathetic!!
found an unmarked box of photos in the garage, they were from when my parents first got together. It was fun laughing at their ridiculous eighties outfits and hairstyles, until I found a pic of my dad. naked. with a boner.
I just put on my hot pinky lace thong... you know what that means! ;)
Oh god. Slutty you is on the run. Someone needs to alert the city.
we used the bottom of a tampon for coke since no one had a 20 on them. My life has resisted to this.
im failing my bio class b/c he booty calls me wednesday nights at 6 like clockwork
Blood. All over. Pre coke adventure needs to slow down unless I'm involved
I was woken up at 4am by a stranger shaking my foot who said I looked like I needed a cigarette.
I don't know what possessed you to do that, but you have to give the stripper more money before you try to check her oil or they are going to throw us out every time you do that.
And my nipple is sore from him biting it. That is not a complaint.
Last night, I listened to Aladdin on my ipod while I stole bread and cheese from Wal-Mart. I feel like you're the only one who'd be proud of me.
I didn't see her "bad karma" tattoo until after I was balls deep
Christ I forgot how flexible you need to be for a decent sext pic. Jesus.
New rule. If he's too busy to put the "H" in "what" then I'm too busy to put his D in me.
Good news, finally found someone who remembers Saturday night. Bad news, everyone in the bar saw your penis
You were throwing up into a trash can full of used condoms. I had to intervine.
Randomize
