I just made a 90's Nickelodeon TV theme song power hour mix...I don't want to build it up but your head might explode
Is it appropriate to get drunk, stand up at the wedding and make a toast to "the time the lovely bride asked me to come on her chest"?
our generation is not ready to get married
This soccer player girl is eating this banana WAY to slow. Too early for penis shaped foods.
Im still in bed and cant move and i only had Two beers and a shot last night... how did I make it in college?
God gave us a 4 year grace period.
Im debating on how to word my craigslist post so i dont get arrested...
No, you always delete them without reading. Enjoy the virtue of morning innocence. What are you doing today.
I just found a tail you can wear naked. Via a butt plug. Who ever said the internet was a good thing?
Woke up covered in green glitter and beer. I am never leaving Ireland.
He left my apartment when I broke up with him just as my booty call was walking in. It was a little awkward...
I look like I just got gang banged and I'm wearing a Taylor swift t shirt. It's not gonna be a pretty breakfast.
My roommate definitely just walked in on me playing the piano naked.
By piano you mean.....
Like literally a piano.
Ohhhh that's kind of embarrassing.
wait did i hook up with someone in mcdonalds last night?
Woke up with a $50 attached to my penis with a rubber band..
Sweet. Tell little Richard to buy us a sack and a pizza.
I think he may actually care that I call him slampiece instead of his real name. Who knew he had feelings?
My mum just told me to stop being so pathetic and just find someone to have sex with, even if I don't like them, just be grateful for the sex. Wow.
Randomize
