On this egg donor form, it asks "In the past 5 years, have you had sex for drugs or money?" It only gives a yes or no option and no place to explain myself. What do I do?
Youre on making sure I dont black out around fat chicks duty
I swear this guy grew up in land without leagues. someone should inform him he's way out of mine
Wow way to turn my death into an oppurtunity to get laid
I will come over now to take full advantage of you in your vulnerable state.
Fine. I should warn you I just threw up in danas fish tank. Fish are dead. Livers dead. I smell and look like a dead animal. And not showering. So deal with it.
You're just mad because I look hotter in my mug shot than you do in yours
You fucked her?! HER?!
She sent me a nudie pic with a bunch of weed nuggets all over her tits...what was I supposed to do? I don't hate America sir.
The fact that he said "there's nothing wrong with being a raging drunk, just ask my mother." has me thinking that I have no positive role-models among my friends.
My mother just made an innapropriate gesture with a cucumber while grocery shopping at whole foods... Then she said "bitches love cucumbers" and all this time i thought i was adopted
she's sitting there like the lesbian godfather. A cigarette in one hand and a titty in the other.
Just got a ride from a stranger while walking a mile home as it hailed with no coat. He asked me if I smoked, then said he just made some potent cookies and I could have one.
The cookie was what I originally wanted to tell you. Always say yes to drugs from strangers
My fridge door just caught on fire somehow.
His flight was delayed by two hours though. I just got cock-blocked by clouds :(
Probably yeah. I mean maybe one day we can be those friends that hang out naked. Not awkard at all.
Why does your life consist of lesbians, black guys and cats?
Randomize
