i was so high that i was eating crumbs of my bed only to realize they were fuzz thingies. fml.
Just saw a teacher from our school with his wife... Now i really know how little teachers get paid.
From the prices on this menu it looks like I have no choice. I have to blow him.
Sadness tears and throw up everywhere
It was my little brother's 14th birthday today. Didn't know what to get him so I just showed him how to use incognito tabs on google chrome.
Old men love us. For they have fine taste and disturbing minds.
Lets start a coed nudist frat/sorority. It would be amazing. Or just an orgy club. It would also be amazing
I took it upon myself to take one shot of tequila to have an excuse for hitting on my not-single coworker. It worked.
That's the 3rd time I've gone home with her and she passed out on me. I poured 6 boxes of cereal on her and left
I just rolled a blunt and took my bra off. I'm not going anywhere.
Dude...are you really going to start sexting during our friend's memorial service?
I'm just gonna ride this ego train to sex town
My roommate is fucking his gf in the shower and i really have to pee do i just bust in or pee on his bed
my ex finally blocked me on all social media and tbh I'm only pissed because his roomate just got a puppy
Also we're getting drunk and sledding down Caroline street. See you soon.
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