She's mad at me cuz I told her having a fuck buddy was too much commitment.
So thanks to the xanax and vodka memory erasering combo i wake up only to reopen a picture of some very familiar balls
He's currently rapping every word to 'more money more problems' at what could be a over 30s gay bar. I'm not sure yet. More info to come.
Going stoned out of mind to my sociology exam because it's really just a pizza party. I love community college.
Is it wrong that I want to take the baby bump in her facebook pictures as "meal-ticket"?
We told our cab driver we'd give him 3 grand if he pit maneuvered you guys in your cab.
That one life defining moment when you catch yourself pouring whisky into your hot chocolate at 4 am, whilst crying and talking to your dog.
He literally wrote out a schedule. On it, there's a taco break, and a spot where I start crying.
You're wearing a hospital gown and pearls. Let's reevaluate your life.
I asked her how many times she came and she said "Oh god I can't count that high, Rutgers doesn't teach us that."
Yea it's also hard to turn down a man asking you out with a chicken sandwich.
We just had sex on an abandoned logging road while wearing snow shoes. God bless Montana boys.
My mind doesn't wanna day drink but my heart does.
DETAILS
long story
just tell me the parts i wanna hear
weed, brooklyn, rough sex.
Laying on my driveway in my pajamas in the sun having my severe hangover cigarette, and the daycare house across the street is having playtime in the yard! I believe I'm currently being what's known as a "bad example!"
Randomize