so far i wrote 500 words for a paper on sean paul performing we be burnin..i can officially do anything on adderral
she refuses to pay for the plan b and so do i. it's the most dangerous game of chicken i've ever been involved in. but i have my pride.
My male hookup buddy is gonna meet my female hookup buddy, let the awkward hookup games begin!
I'm Still in a robe trying to piece together 3-7am I'll be there in a few
anyone who says having children is the best experience of their life obviously has never seen a vending machine carry vodka in Capri sun pouches.
Rub those nipples and moan like a platypus.
Jesus, are you hammered?
Hammered for that juicy ass. I'll bring the straws.
Why were you staring at her like that over breakfast?
Because I was eating with a spoon to remind her that she threw up on my hand while she was MAKING me spoon with her after our drunk sex. She got it. Don't worry.
It's meant to be, Cynthia. You, him, and your developed breasts are meant for each other.
I hate ovaries. They're horrible little sacs of satanic enmity.
That's the most poetic description of female anatomy I've ever heard.
What's the worst that could happen? I'm already broke and my leg's already broken
I mean. I just want to sit in my bed and eat bagels. What's wrong with that?
You're the best thing in my life, followed closely by cannabis and trashy romance novels
Babe, I'm gunna be straight with you. When you act like a dick it makes me regret not fucking my manager last week.
do nipples grow back?
I've seen your dick too many times for both of us to be straight.
Randomize
