oh my god i just remembered the cat blow jobs.
My male hookup buddy is gonna meet my female hookup buddy, let the awkward hookup games begin!
We had to leave the bar because you were trying to show the bartender your boobs for water.
i cant wait to be back in my element of drunk, on a barstool, ive missed home
He asked for a foot job. Whatever. I guess I'm swimming in new slut waters tonight.
all i remember was her shitting herself and asking me to call her parents.....i so didn't. when i woke up she was gone and left a note saying "we will be lovers forever"
And noooow we're smoking a ton of REALLY strong weed and THIS IS THE SOFTEST CAT EVER
She said she had a surprise for me and sent me a video of her having sex with some fat dude. It was a mood killer
coughing up blood. I'm leaving for the doctor now. P.S. I just won $350 on the wheel of fortune machine in the casino.
Exactly best part of my night he took of his shirt and surprise traveler fanny pack
I fucked him while wearing his hat. I love the navy
I'm about to play another round of who's panties are in my car.
I took multi-tasking to a new level. I just ate a plate of nachos off my lap while driving to the bar. And I barely got any on me.
My good Christian morals say no, but my complete disregard of anything related to religion says yes
I need to go to St. Louis more often. The brides sorority sisters were practically fighting over me once they heard I work on Wall St.
Randomize
