So I've officially decided that I AM that drunken mistake that girls hate themselves for in the morning.
Don't make me choose between a good grade and anal
I vomitted in the hotel where they film gossip girl last night. Everywhere.
If you ever wanna get tagged teamed, army guys are pretty open to it. Write that down for future reference.
At what point in life does one make the conscious decision to incorporate capes into everyday life? Like, as a fashion statement?
I'm not sure how to answer that. Is it a general question or one you're wondering about for yourself? Because I don't think you're there yet.
Let's run into the wild and just eat berries and have sex all the time.
Though the booty shorts might give me an extra discount. Or arrested. We'll see.
Its not often you get to say, "The security guard at my job is my new drug dealer," but as of last night, I get to say it.
My boss just lit a candle and said a prayer to get laid tonight ..
He gave me a script of norcos and touched my balls so overall it's been a good day.
Just took acid. Wish me luck.
I worked out twice today and you're dropping acid. My life sucks.
it's unicorns you uncultured swine
I think him and kristen are pretty serious now.. I dont think he cheats on her, anymore.
I shouldn't be allowed to be in america for NYE... or any major holiday for that matter
True life: I inadvertently fucked a whole friend group. More details to come tonight.
Randomize
