in spanish class. the girl next to me asked what Galapagos were. i told her they were islands. now she thinks Galapagos means islands in spanish
Some kid in my class just puked in his backpack, zipped up the backpack, put the backpack on and walked out the door.
You told me that you only walk into walls because it makes the room stop spinning.
How many folks do you know who bring coke to a dinner party. Seriously.
He broke into my apartment to check his Facebook again, the beer is all gone, and there's a new high score on pac man.
The chick I hooked up with last night is my girlfriend older sister. Who is in town visiting. Who I just met. Who I just had dinner With. Who is here along with their parents and the whole family. How did my luck get so bad?
Accidentally peeing a little on the couch in the middle of a sneeze is way different from railing a random on our waffle counter. I am the better roommate.
We designated a driver... But it was me..... So we designated another driver
Serious questions. Who is that girl? Why is she wearing a tiara? And why does she keep asking about penis piercings?
you were feeling the wall and when we asked you why, you just said "because I want to know who lived here before"
No, gay couples have the same problems straight ones do; I wish that we could go back to the days when he would shit with the door closed.
All she has to do is text me and my dick gets hard. She asked how my day was going and it got hard.
If not, I can murder my liver twice...it's like a cat, it has 9 lives
Can we get pizza? This is seriously not a booty call. I just really want someone to get pizza with me.
There's a lady rapping at me about making healthy food choices. She lives in a refrigerator. This is not okay with me
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