it doesn't get any better than taco bell and soft core porn
I can't get out of the parking garage so now I'm staying downtown....Typical
she doesn't hate you. She just thinks you need a personality adjustment, speech therapy and weight watchers.
my dad brought home flowers.. so i started talking to them
And whoever invented the condom should be put to death.
The tent neighbors already set us on fire w an errant roach. How do you think Bonnaroo's going?!
Her face is stuck to the frozen jager bottle. I think shes ok with it
I just can't have sex with a guy who has nicer eyebrows than me
Dude shes not that fat. Plus, last night I probably would've done it too.
Watching him and my sister argue over a rum and coke about who's going to chop the coffee table in half with a hatchet...
HI MARY. THERE IS A RAINBOW AT OUR APARTMENT
i don't remember going ever taking off my pants but my pubes are shaved into a K and kelsey is passed out in the shower.
I call him Seabiscuit because he's my trusty steed
How much weight does it take to launch a cat using a trebuchet vs the tension required for a catapult?
I never thought I'd be complaining about having sex 4 times a day, but here we are...
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