I have one thing to say: spongebath.
I wish that wasn't all you had to say. And by that, I mean I wish you hadn't said that at all.
I can't ever handle being "that girl" again. At least not until next semester.
Girl in my class with fire painted on her face. I. need. that. weed.
He somehow managed to accomplish karate kicking a door down, cockblocking my friend in the room, and writing "tits" all over the house with a blue sharpie.
I woke up and he was just feeling up my stomach. I felt like buddha and he was rubbing my belly for good luck. never again.
I'm just gonna go have sex with whom ever is in the men's room.
trust me. coming from a bonafide dirtbag, this dude is up to shady shit
Maybe I can find a straight girl rehab camp, like the opposite of those degaying camps, where they teach me how to love the ladies instead
Omg. I would pay ALL OF THE MONEY for that camp.
My roommates call me "Queen of the Skanks" I guess that means I've had a successful first month of college.
He rubbed aloe on my sunburn while I blew him... could he be anymore perfect?
How do you clean human pee out of a carpet
Inconspicuously
IT WAS JUST SO LITTLE AND AWKWARDLY FLOPPING BACK AND FORTH
i do my most serious thinking while screwing her. ive pondered everything from quantum physics to the life cycle of a badger. if i keep this up ill have a phd in no time.
dude can you explain to me why i woke up on your sisters floor with moutain dew and chips everywhere
i dont know im at your house.
I need to take my iPad to the Apple store (when this is all over). Do I need to delete all my dick pics/videos or are they used to stumbling across that sort of thing?
Randomize
