Non-Jews are for practice
omg i forgot michael madsen was in free willy this is the most epic movement of my stoned life
I woke up at 1pm, looked in the mirror and fist pumped...I might still be drunk
you woke up and yelled "the tv is moving" and fell on the floor and passed back out
Well apparently "don't come inside of me" wasn't one of the English phrases he understood! On the bright side... At least he will get his green card for having an american kid!
i feel like words won't express my appreciation properly so at some point i'm just going to bring you pizza then go down on you for an hour. fair?
The other. Cat spoke to me and left. This shit is laced
The first cat might save me but they are taking out masks
Yea. I couldn't get a job in fast food but I can teach Americas youth. The future looks great
I did what any insensitive guy would do bought her friends shots and tried to fuck them
We're pretty much just dating until one of our ex's wants us back
i would like you to please flash back to us blacked out in the bathroom when you told me i needed to take one for the team and have a threesome with you and jon to help your relationship. you then told me you had no issue putting ghb in my drink to make it happen.
in other news, i feel like i just shat out all my sins.
I can't wait to get to LA so I can punch her in the face
He licked the buffalo sauce off my fingers and then we had the best sex of my life.
Bold words for someone NOT on a unicycle
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