everything was goin great until he pulled out his ed hardy lighter and smoked in my face like he was cool.
it's like you attract all the douchebags that nobody wants. people should thank you.
I just had an epiphany. There is NOTHING TO STOP ME from making cake mix and eating it all instead of making a cake. It feels like my entire life has peaked at this moment.
the worst part of it wasnt him peeing on the xbox. it was when he showed me his penis and made a kissy face at me. THAT was painful.
i really wish i had a remote for my computer. its all the way on my bed while im across the hall puking my brains out to enya. not cool.
I can't believe we just used the phrase "jizz to juice ratio" in casual conversation.
they arrested me when i was peaking, i'm pretty sure they were specifically looking for me but i was too busy rolling around, loving the grass to notice the police car..
She got a text from her mom saying "you better not sleep with him, we all know how he is". IV ONLY BEEN HERE A WEEK
Alright fuck it. Alcoholic Jamie is back and here to stay.
if you had such a terrible roommate you would understand. jacking off in his conditioner is just the start.
She needs to go. She is like the Yoko Ono of our group.
No like I actually peed on the treadmill. As it was running
so an orgy is about to happen in the next room if you wondered where i am currently at in life
Yea...Let's just say I gave her the best 3 and half minutes of her life then she took a 40 minute cab ride home that she paid for...
Next time we do shrooms i am finding an open field at sunrise and running through it and nobody is stopping me this time!
What did you spend the night in her closet?
She said she was saving me for breakfast and locked me in there
Randomize
