If a woman tells you she has been pink socked...don't move forward with her.
you'd think with how big her nose is she'd have a better smelling pussy..
I knew the sex would be bad when he slipped the rubber on and said "safe sex activated"
I wish there was a non-hangover washing machine that I could stick myself in right now
Whatever, she only has 293 friends, she cant afford to be defriending me..
So my professor just changed my Final to 7:45am on May 6th. Shouldn't a Spanish professor understand the implications of Cinco de Mayo???
I had to throw a towel over the bottles cuz it hurts to look at them
Fran... I put my tongue in somebody's gage hole last night.
I just realized, I'm going to be on my period for the end of the world. FUCK.
he played intl players anthem 4me and ate a strawberry out of my pussy
It's very rude to dive mouth-first into someone's crotch without knowing if their wife is cool with it.
His sister hates me so I took his virginity on her bed
I had a threesome last night with my fiance' and our soon to be best man. Everyone is surprisingly chill about it this morning. Is this any indication of what the wedding night will be like?
ugh, my whole family is going ape shit over my sister's pregnancy blog. I dont get it? Anyone can get knocked up! I had rebound sex with a new york ranger last night, now that is something to fucking blog about.
Stacy lit a fart and burn half of the couch down before we can put the Flames out. Bring your truck.
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