i think the semi hot bartender might actually be a man in drag..on a similar note, what are you drinking?
Astroglide: It's like Bengay for your ass.
IM INA KID IN KING ATURHTS CUNT!
A Kid In King Arthur's Court? Like the movie?
CUNT. CUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUNT
I just told my boyfriend I think I might be pregnant using Emoji icons....
which icon did you use to tell him he's not the father?
he told me he once ran a blackmarket liquor store out of his house. thats all it took for me to go home with him
Im pretty sure he just said he wants to make a baby with me, but he's pretty shitfaced, so I'm not sure if he knows who I am.
It's gay softball weekend. Lots of hot gay strangers to go home with.
A 74 year old man offered to let me sleep on his pull out couch last night.
Please don't make me ever have to hear the words "the Queen's gynecologist" ever again.
Well we had to pull over on a side street in town so I could throw up while moms were driving by with car loads of kids, I feel like I just performed a lil silent AA film for the childrens
I'm not gonna lie. I'm a little scared.
Good. The Jell-O shots look great.
WE HAVE WINE WHERE ARE YOU GUYS WE ARE BY THE GIANT EAGLE
I don't know where I keep finding these guys, but mi power bottoms es su power bottoms.
He was trying to break into my apartment to get the coke he left last night, didn't engage parking break, so the van started rolling. yup, it's broken.
eating pizza to get the taste of dick out my mouth wby
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