dude, that girl smelled worse than the great depression.
i now understand why he chose to have sex with my friend rather then me after lookin in the mirror this morning. and id do the same thing.
when i grow up i'm putting garbage disposals in all showers of my house so when you vomit in the shower its easy clean up
new rule: cockblock me if I have had over a fifth of jack. no matter what.
she sucked my dick to get the taste of the last guy's out. I need to find a new friend with benefits.
Feels weird sitting between two guys who've had their heads between my legs in a 24 hour span.
I could end up kidnapped. Or worse, the night will be really awkward.
friends don't put videos of other friends on youtube puking on their professor on the first day
I'm giving you a get out of sober free card for one of the nights
Your friends turned off our power in the basement and when we went to turn it back on I got sprayed in the face with a fire extinguisher. FYI.
Nothing says never again like hurling in the shower.
I want to buy her liposuction. And a spot on What Not To Wear. And a face transplant.
I just want to order a very large pizza and get very drunk and very laid.
I am coming home with the worst sun burn of my life, two unused condoms, and an unworn slutty dress. Worst. Bachelorette. Party. Ever.
Well, let me first tell you that jack and cokes were ONE FUCKING DOLLAR.. It's like the club wanted me to make poor choices.
Randomize
