people would bow to what i just did to her vagina
We can make salsa ya know, maybe even some hot sauce. That doesn't mean we're married.
apparently went to arby's at 2:30am banging on the windows for someone to make me a "beefy"
I didn't know there was such thing as a bad orgasm. Until him.
all I know is he gave me a Cialis and tried to take me home.
he said i ruined lesbian porn for him
And this is the part where I need you not to judge me. Remember that I have never seen a penis do that and that I have a weird sexual curiosity
he's gonorrhea incarnate
...I can smell the alcohol on your breath through that text
Got a 72 hour restraining order. Can we meet monday? Let me know!
Seriously, I look like I crawled out of a bog. Succeeding at being as undateable as possible.
You had a fry stuck to your face... Every five mins you would wake up, take a bite, put it back then fall asleep again...
You make me want to do things that I'm pretty sure are illegal.
You call it sex. I call it penis conditioning.
Don’t get me wrong—I love silver and bracelets—but handcuffs are not a good look on me…
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