I'm too stoned for this. I'm Canadian.
ha- omfg whatt the fuck is wrong w me. Alcohol+third cousins= bad decisions
I just saw a man salute the budweiser truck on the highway. I want to follow him and shake his hand.
do you guys have 30-35 shot glasses? because if not, i don't even see a point in me coming
All that matters is I got the megaphone home safely
we fucked while standing on a ladder. challenging, but worth it.
I love you. I'm too high for this. Find a way. Make it happen. Live strong.
Im gonna take a shit then figure out how to be better at basketball
Id fuck him but only at his house and he had to stay im bed till i left. He only works upper body. It just creeps me out how tiny his legs are
You won't wear your Santa suit, I can't get trashed, and you won't use handcuffs! This is the worst Christmas EVER.
That night just went downhill after you pissed yourself while sitting on my lap
I tolerate his mediocre drunk sex for the mind blowing morning sex. More than worth it.
I literally woke up walked into the bathroom, threw up and died this morning. Then went to my 8am.
I'm literally naked with a whole pizza in my lap sitting in my chair.
Did I fall last night?
I wouldn't call it falling as much as you tried to lay on the sidewalk and proceeded to hit it face first.
Randomize
