what if I'm pregnant?
smusmorshion
there is no way he can be that small
look on the bright side he'll over comepensate
I woke up with my bra stapled to the ceiling, her dad was in the hallway winking at me. I was the less drunk of the bunch.
Uhh, there's a legit bruise on my boob.. Again how does he manage this
there's a guy pushing a keg up the street in a shopping cart. you have to love graduation
Washing vom off hardwood, so much easier than carpet. Thank you adulthood!
You may have cured my horniness. I feel like my libido just got shat on by kittens who live on an enchanted rainbow.
thought the power was flickering out but it turns out im just blinking
He showed up to a baby shower and kept telling everyone he was late because he was pregaming. And then tried honking the pregnant girls tits
me + whiskey = a bad person
I have to go buy generic plan b after work. I don't even leave for the new semester for another 11 days. I think I just leveled up in sluttiness
Hey. Im sorry to bother you but I just watched the seinfield episode about faking an orgasm and it caused me to second guess myself. Were you satisfied?
It's 7am. I'm sitting on the curb in last nights clothes with a nose bleed and no idea how to get home. Low moment I feel.
She said I can't embarrass her, the challenge has been set
That is our entire relationship. We match bowls and give each other head. What more could you possibly want?
Randomize