Why are handjobs necessary in class?
There is a mermaid on oprah and she looks nothin like ariel
I lost count of how many people I peed on last night.
No one wears that much makeup to work unless they are trying to fuck their boss, NO ONE
we just saw you getting yelled at by the cops for trying to 'hijack' a street sweeper...how have you not been arrested yet?
he'll be my respectable boyfriend for tksgiving and i'll be his non-slutty girlfriend for christmas.
and then ....
he stays my gay friend and my parents think i'm not a slut.
Lame. Party is tapping out at 4am. Even chanting "USA" didn't rally them.
I don't think you seem to understand this concept. WHEN A GAY GUY HANDS YOU A DAIQUIRI, YOU DRINK IT.
Sorry I can't go bowling with you guys. I'm getting daytime dick. That's the best kind.
How do i politely tell him his dick looks like it went thru a meat grinder?
I'm starting to think I didn't bring enough liquor for this family Christmas.
It's 2 pm....
Well, if you're getting/have gotten your dick sucked, you're welcome. If not, I tried. Step up your game, pussy. I pulled a MacGuyver and got mine. No excuses bro.
I'm sure you're still partially crippled from thar blow job on Saturday, so I understand it's probably difficult to text.
Don't wake me up to tell me to cook for you because you don't like taco meat.
He called my boobs fluffy. Part sexy part pilsbury dough boy. Part sexy pilsbury dough boy. I'm so confused. And flattered?
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