eating raw peppers to burn the taste of semen out of my mouth
The smell came through my closed door. His farts are made of rendered tires, and apparently, ghosts.
There's a bus with a band full of dancing women in bras. I think I like it here.
With a breakfast like weed and a fun size twix before a dentist appointment you can see exactly how I handle being an adult
There is a chick wearing some guy's shirt wrapped around her waist as a skirt... She's flashing her panties to everyone as she sings karaoke. You need to get here.
She told me she ate a whole pizza today, and I just wanted to hug her forever.
I'm dressed as a caveman and drunk so that's not really an option
I mean, except for the part where I was vomiting up pineapple and hot sauce, it was a really fun time.
Dude, i just watched a drag queen dropkick a motherfucker. this is a good night.
Dead. I am actually dead. Also, worst nightmare confirmed: throwing up in a four hundred person lecture.
I opened my bookbag to put my laptop in and I found two granola bars and a pregnancy test. I am clearly prepared for life
Jesus tap dancing Christ rock out with your cock out is supposed to be just an expression. And even if it weren't no one wants pics bro.
He had the same tone in his voice and look in his eyes that he gets when he says UFOs aren't real.
The career specialist read an Onion article to us. Please send help.
just bought safety googles to wear so he can cum on my face and not in my eye. SAFETY FIRST!
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