girl has like over 50 stars tattooed on her front, side and back. feels like i just fucked the universe.
Theres a freshman smoking a pipe on campus. This new class is setting a new standard we're not ready for
i'm laying here naked in a pile of empty landshark bottles, is lauren still hiding under the toilet?
I get that he's ugly and I deserve better but I will still beat up the girls he hangs out with.
So he's compensating for a really small penis. Either that or he's a drug lord.
The drunk mom in a firefighter hat just told her to leave.
I'm remembering the time we thought it was a brilliant idea to put koolaid powder in shots of goldschlager
She was two things I dont understand: tall and Christian
did i just see you in the movie theater carrying a margarita into Frozen?
All the 6 year olds are jealous of my alcohol
The way I kissed her was actually pretty charming and then it devolved to car sex
Video footage says last night I reincarnated as stripper Shania Twain... Man, I feel like a (slutty) woman.
I got fucked in a bat mobile this morning. Being slutty rules.
Is it unhealthy for me to do shots of pinnacle by myself in my apartment right now? Asking for a friend
Been there. Done that. Still have his t-shirt.
Drinking is such a hassle. I wish I could just press a button and be drunk.
Randomize
