I fucked a guy named chris tucker last night
if you take his cock out, you have to give him a bj. it's like giving a moose a muffin.
I feel like i'm in "To Catch a Predator - The Musical"
Just did lines off a tackle box. Love Montana.
My face smells like vagina and Im on my way to court. Fuck.
i'm sorry, i thought "hey, she wants TO FUCK YOU" was a good enough cue
We're smoking a joint the size of the average penis right now. I may not survive.
well that explains the french fry and ketchup packet rolled into the wasitband of my sweats. thank you drunk me.
With the drought our water bill is skyrocketing. No more shower sex, masturbating, or pretending to be under a water fall after smoking a blunt.
He better not be in your backpack
your fridge is broken, your sock drawer is full of snow, and you flipped off the whole stadium on the big screen. I'd say it went well.
I am just saying if Clark Kent walks into your life, you fuck him
And then you refused to pee in anything but a sink
Ur dad just showed me a tit pic he got omf
IF YOU DIE ON LSD YOU DIE FOR REAL
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