Midget sex pt 2 tonight
i barely touched his dick and all of a sudden he yells, "BONER!"
a chick just tried to cover her fart by sneezing. it didn't work
Planet Earth isn't gonna get stoned and watch itself.
She was narrarating everything she did.. like while making toast.
My dora the explorer band aid does not cover up the shame i feel right now
cheating on your boyfriend is the best diet ever, I've barely eaten in days. The guilt is killing me
He's got a wife and three kids but I'm into being that mistake.
We lost track of him for only 10 min and he gets kicked out for sneaking into the kitchen and trying to operate the deep fryer.
Had to belly crawl across the floor to the toilet with my eyes closed to puke my life out without making my hangover worse. Three times.
First thing I find in the car I just pick up from my grandpa? A discount card for the strip club down the road from his apartment. The force is still strong.
I'm like a hairless cat ready to be ravished
I think he fucked my hip out of place.
You're up at 3AM, right? I have a very important question.
You know the Wendy's on route 6, by Kohls? Do you know if it has a drive through?
Yes it does.
Just got an exam care package consisting of only adderall wrapped in money. Score one for mom.
Randomize
