If you think im a hippy you should see these girls. They would scissor mother nature if they had the chance.
I just woke up and realized I puked in my boxers WTF.
You stay classy.
The worst part was I forgot until I tried to put them on.
i love accidental penises.
come on don't hate me. your brother looks just like you its almost a complement that i had sex with him.
I can't. He's too cute and my tongue is too long.
Some guy just delivered flowers to my roommate cause he fell off a roof onto her at a party last night. I think they have a date tomorrow.
He probably smells like baby powder and sexual identity crisis.
Hey when you wake up and read this, we really need to stop pullin our dicks out when we drink dude. I have all the pics, yall are assholes
Do you think if you have sex with a girl twin, her twin brother feels it to? Woke up at her house and they both have a look of disappointment on their faces.
The topic of sex in the jamba banana suit has come up on multiple occasions. We're just waiting for a moment to try it out.
My Canadian brought me three bottles of maple syrup, a sunflower, and a pair of Oakleys back to the states...he's either drunk or he loves me
Can you send me the pictures of me riding the penis
this is gentle reminder #1 not to forget to bring the vibrator when you come
How do you ask the man who gives you multiple orgasms if he has friends who could do the same for your friend?
I legitimately thought he died. I even called his mom at 3am and told her. Im done with vodka.
Randomize