i woke up to her playing with my penis. just wiggling it around and around. awkward night? i would say so.
WHY DOES GOD HATE MY DICK
I told him that he is like a snow storm I never know when he is coming, how many inches I will get, or how long it will last
oh well at that point I was already depressed with life because I had watched the bratz movie.
please stop referring to my baby as "your little fucker"
And I'm PMSing. So if I'm not crying, I'm masturbating.
maybe these stereotypes wouldn't come up if you would stop taking body shots off another
Im about to get a baby alligator stoned, what are you doing with your life?
Someone had Captain Morgan and orange juice at the same moment I lost my hangover and I just had to give it a try.
Is it bad that I recognize every dick in your dic pic collection?
I always make inappropriate sexual decisions during the holidays
We can't go out this weekend. My uterus is so desperate it's given me permanent beer goggles
I'm officially removing you from my nudes recipient list on snapchat.
My boobs look fucktastic, I have a booty call on Sunday and a dick photo on my phone. Life is grand!
IT WAS A FUCKING ELEPHANT I SWESR!!!!!
Nathan, I haven't spoken to you in 12 years and it's 6am. Kindly fuck off.
Randomize