I even made an effort to dress like a conservative young lady who doesnt black out and throw up in her bed regularly today.
We need to either drink and not go to waffle house or go to waffle house and not drink. I need to know which is causing these shits.
I wish there was a classy way to show off your boobs.
Your brother came in a girls mouth for the first time last night... Ah the tales told whilst buying minors beer.
Welcome to drink and talk like a Russian afternoon.
Pirate drinking day will be planned for shortly
I approve this so hard.
I am in a hotel room with 10 people. John is in bed eating an industrial sized pan of mashed potatoes. I think a non insignificant number of people saw my nipples.
I will kick you in all of your body parts. All at once.
Apparently, the right response to, "How do you feel about a terrorist being in the area?" isn't, "Well, we have vodka in the freezer, so we're good for now."
He asked if I was going to squirt out my bday candles. I'm glad the perversion doesn't stop for special occasions.
If my dick was big enough to fuck the eye of a hurricane, I would.
Woke up in a fanny pack with a bag of cocaine on my cheek
Is it rude to say "I hate you because you live inside Hillary Clinton's asshole"?
I've been sober for almost two weeks and it's been the worst two weeks ever. Even my mom told me I need to start drinking again.
Chasing down vodka with apple juice and crying. Alone.
who knew being a fake dominatrix could be so fun?
Randomize
