I have a new reason to go to work: I can tell which 3 of my coworkers are sisters just by looking at their butts.
I just caught Brandon licking the fake chocolate on a smores ornament
So about class tomorrow..... i,ll be there. But I may be still a bit drink and wearing a suit. I'll explain when I get there.
I wish sober me loved running as much as drunk me...
why is there an outline of nathan's body on my wall in whip cream?
Dude she has starbursts in her sports bra. I feel like this is counter productive.
I'll make a Jello mold of your face so everyone can get drunk off your face
I have a question: does pizza dipped in chili sound good or am I just really high?
Dear female. Happy valentines day. If you have not had the pleasure of making love to me, please do not fret, I will get around to it soon enough. If you indeed have made love to me, then bravo, wasn't that grand! Perhaps we should do it again? Regardless, have a good day. This has been a public service announcement. Rock on.
He took a girl home tonight that he was trying to sell a fridge to. She wanted a fridge and got his dick. He's got a talent.
that was THE gayest party i've ever been to
To be fair, the theme was Cabaret. I don't know what you were expecting.
I just used "et al" in a sext. I thought you'd be proud
Gay?
German.
Pity.
I HAD TO PAY A COVER FOR THE FIRST TIME LAST NIGHT. My tits didn't get me in and I was so pissed.
hahahaha classic. this is why you are going to a college with a hospital right next to it
Randomize
