I'll let you put expensive food in me, but really, not much else.
All I remember is saying that "fire will make it all better"
I just dont understand why you didnt cut me off when I took the funnel into the bathroom and started peeing and funneling at the same time
she's sitting alone using her breathalyzer as a kazoo. help.
just woke up in my car, in front of the bar. Took me 10 minutes to find my keys which were about 10 yards away in a bush. According to my phone records, I called my ex 14 times last night. Breakfast?
I think making out with someone could be the cure to all my problems. That or more cowbell.
Well it's a moot point because I did have a sink & I peed in it.
He slapped my ass and his clap-on light turned on.
I don't get hangovers. Except once. And there is a massively epic story behind that, involving so much alcohol I should have died, and 13 raw hotdogs.
Listen you let me know what you're doing after drinking rum punch all morning
every time someone would wish me happy birthday I would be like "thanks happy birthday to you too"
Yeah. I'm so over work, that I'm not even satisfied pretending to work anymore. I just flat out want to go home. Fuck this job
no it was
but you compared your dick to a female disney character
Baked goods and tits. Hard to go wrong there.
Fuck my life... Im so horny Im gonna take it out on this sandwich
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