I want to have your abortion
I'm texring you during a blow job. She thinks I'm looking shit up. Fml. Ftw.
this dieting is killing me...just started drooling watching a dog food commercial
he walked in on you at the party drunkenly dancing alone on the bed wearing mardi gras beads, sunglasses, and using one ski pole as a microphone.... and you STILL got laid. i dont get your life.
You compared your dick to a twizzler. In no way, shape, or form is that a turn on.
oh my god. separately texting an Allie and an Ally while drunk is hard, and I'm climbed 1/2 way up a bridge pier.
I am currently watching him baptize himself in a baby pool with a handle of belvedere while wearing a coral dress.
I want to have sex with him.
That was the #1 scariest moment in my life. I have full trust in you, I let you bite my penis for god sake.
I just found my lube on the ground next to my bed. I would pay money to find out what the fuck happened that night.
I watch one musical on Netflix, and the "Suggested for you" section is literally almost the entire gay movie category. I feel profiled, and netflixs' accuracy about my sexuality is both impressive and offensive.
I am sitting in my lingerie, eating frozen cookie dough out of a bowl, and watching family. My hump day is going great
We need some Captain and Fanta. That shit will change your life. Sidenote, bring an IV drip to hook me to in the morning
how am i in montreal? thats like a 3 hour train ride. i remember nothing.
Andddddd I'm drunk
Andddddd it's Tuesday
That's your opinion.
My dad just informed me that I may be entitled to $1700 worth of stimulus money... looks like that hitachi is coming sooner than later. Let's hope for the best!
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