oh yeah I'm gonna practice throwing up so I can be ready for Friday night. and Saturday. Beth is back, diaper and all.
Remind them to make the "above the influence" commercial about us fallin off a ferris wheel
i think it was just a coincidence but she literally vomited the second she saw my penis.
there was a 40 knocked over. chips and salsa all over the floor. and she was in her thong doing boot camp on demand in the middle of the room..
I thought about farting is his face when he was going down on me last nite.
Watching dad use Doritos to illustrate exactly where to locate the clitoris. How's your family christmas going?
i drank out of my shoe...were you seriously expecting me to be the voice of reason?
I take pleasure in knowing how many gallons of booze we've put away in comradery.
I think we should measure in "bathtubs"
Yeah. I was about to call 911 but I ended up breaking the door frame off then ran and puked all the way home.
Faking my way through an entire party as a British exchange student. Wish me luck.
She said I'm so hungry I could eat a dick and winked at me
I ended up in th ER yelling my height weight and age
Like actually I will be single and sad and lonely for ever. Cheese will be my life partner. Robot sex is my future.
This whole Rob and Chyna drama is giving me trust issues. I'm about to text my ex and be like if you haven't already deleted my nudes, can you?
It's a lot harder to work after sex than it is to work drunk... just saying.
Randomize
