One minute shes telling me about her volunteer work then she whips out a 12 inch dildo
I can only name 15 people I've had sex with - can I just start claiming that as my sex number?
i dont know what it was but it was definately NOT a vagina
there is a baby dancing on the table amidst the smoke of multiple cigarettes. i want to trade lives with that baby.
First day of class and I'm in a bar drinking pitcher #3. Foreshadowing?
I realised my life had gone downhill since being unemployed when I was making key lime pie on acid at 3am Tuesday morning.
I want him to rain dance my fallopian tubes.
There no better feeling of self control than stopping yourself before telling your girlfriend she gives head just like her sister.
Feels like I ran a marathon last night. A tequila marathon.
why is "bang the student affairs grad assistant" the third highest thing on your semester goals list
Pooping with Eye of the Tiger playing. Not a single fuck shall be given.
I will 100% jerk off using my own tears as lube before I'd ever bang a 4.
I have standards. Maybe not when it comes to men.. but definitely when it comes to sex
Black labs can get you to do pretty much anything...even approach strange men in their bath robes
sorry i was ignoring you last night i accidentally did a bunch of pcp and thought i was inside tron
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