he looked like jesus. just the kind of jesus i would have sex with.
I've already planned a drinking game for mtvs jersey shore....jagerbomb everytime they do
The maintenance guy at work just asked me out for a drink. For once, I proudly said that I was 20.
his extensive knowledge of the age of consent laws kinda scares me....
I stole another quarter from the bathroom. I'm slowly getting rich drinking here.
Ignoring the crisis im in. Sitting in the front yard in a kiddie pool. Wearing arm floaties, fins and a snorkel. Waiting for a hot guy to walk by.
Just took 4 secret shots in his bathroom to not remember him naked.
IF HE CAN'T EVEN MAKE EYE CONTACT IN CLASS, I DOUBT THERE WILL BE OTHER FORMS OF CONTACT ON OUR FIRST NOT-A-DATE DATE
Wow. I grabbed the wrong container to rinse my contacts- it was a beer. And it comes out waaaay faster than saline.
I just woke up entirely naked on top of a pile of some guy's laundry on his bedroom floor.
Your friend, the one I told I would brush his teeth with my tongue, what's his name again?
Come over, we're having a tea party. And by a tea party I mean we're drinking whiskey from tea cups.
Tell him to dress up like Shaggy and kidnap him then bring him to me. We can pretend. Imaagination.
We're lying on the pavement outside of the college. No one has asked if we're okay. I think they all understand.
I keep worrying the police are going to come looking for us.
For which one? Starting a fire on my porch or having sex on my porch?
Randomize
