how do you clear previous safari searches on an iPhone? i asked my brother to google something for me and "big penis" "empire chinese food" and "reverse cowgirl" popped up.
Soo both my 8 year old sister and fuck buddy are named Sarah..
this can't be going anywhere good
nooope. guess which one i texted last nite to come over so i could "punish her pussy"? =\
she moaned out jack bauer's name while i was banging her...
I just ate a fried snickers. I now officially accept all fat jokes
hey i found one of your nipple clamps under my couch, i miss you!
If you feel like laying around and watching a movie, that's where I'll be for the next several hours not moving, blaming others, and generally feeling sorry for myself.
yea, there's something about a stripper whipping you with your own belt that makes you think
True. On an unrelated note I helped post bail for both of our ex girlfriends last night. Russian roulette: guess which one is pregnant?
When a man can't even pay attention to you when you're telling him about how big his penis is, there's something wrong
I'm gonna hire strippers dressed like the founding fathers.
I truly just stopped puking in my 730 am calculus class, looked up, corrected my professor, then resumed puking my eyes out. He was both impressed and disgusted.
woke up in the back seat of my car with a naked chick and my brother tapping on the window. yup, what a night
Last night I realized my life is an experiment of really bad decisions when I had to leave without my underwear. But at least I'm expanding my life experience.
he's trapped himself under a bed and is screaming at a robot dog to give him a blowjob
FYI there's a girl here with happy daddy written on her tits
Randomize
