bobby jindal makes me wanna cover my ears. you make me wanna smile.
dude, that girl smelled worse than the great depression.
i hope kanye doesn't show up to patrick swayze's funeral. " i'll let you get back to your funeral in a minute...but michael jackson had the best death of the year. just sayinnn ".
Just made gatorade. in the bathtub.
I like when I have the chance to say normal things like 'I know her from college' vs 'I did a ton of blow with her one night at Studio B.'
I've awoken at 3am again, in a night terror, just thinking about how big his dick was.
So he was supposed to be helping me with my math but instead we ended up drinking coconut rum in his basement and having sex. I think my mom was right, getting a tutor will be good for me. Relieves the stress.
I asked you if you needed a ride and you kept saying "no, my name is katelyn"
I get hit on by the prison guards every time i go to see him. Seriously.
I think I shall call his penis Gatsby. We talk about it all the time, but I never see it.
All I remember is dance battling with a man named tom the entire time who kept buying me drinks so id say it was a success
bought a large fruitopia from McDonalds at 7:45 this morning. Spilled it on the ground. Cried. THAT hungover.
hey u leave my anime porn out of this
I think vodka/water/skittles totally beats your crystal light mimosas
Yeah. I fucked her boyfriend, she knows, and she still wants to keep dating him. That's love.
Randomize
