I love hooters. This dumb bartender is saying how coffee dehydrates you so that's why she sometimes just eats the coffee grinds wake up.
I'm officially my mother.. Smoking in the garage pretending to take the dog out in a big ugly jacket
We were naked in his bed when he asked me "what should we do?"
Pretty sure that Albanian broad gave me something last night. Now we play the waiting game.
Man, just talk to her friend and help me out. Otherwise we go home alone
I'd rather jerk off with a hand full of bumble bees then talk to her
okay, please tell me Cammy is the one who put the picture and note on my desk saying "beat off to this homeboy"
My roommate made me a peanut butter and sprinkles sandwich. Maybe tonight isn't that bad
i accidenteley seduced the christian girl's brother so i dont think we can count on free church picnic food again
View of Vancouver Bay is obscured though the greasy hand prints from fucking against the window. Tip maid well.
Fuck off I wasn't that drunk. I was still able to toss froot loops in the air and catch them in my mouth.
And in your bra. It was quite entertaining.
She used my 100 Ways To Cope With Stress handout to wipe puke off her face
Also we had sex while listening to fleetwood Mac on vinyl. Like the 70s called and told me to fuck off
What's worse having drunken sex with hot married man or breaking the diet one week in?
Started dabbing in blow again because he always hated that I did it. Yuh I’m doing drugs but at least I’m doing me?
My penis definitely considers my Captain Cock costume a success
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