I just found 'pokemon orgy' in my search history
Whyyyyy do my fingers smell like Chinese food.
imagine a blue Jetta with an ILLINOIS license plate that read JISLORD..... upon pondering it for 10minutes I came to the conclusion that J stood for JESUS and IF the license plate had enough room it would read "Jesus Is Lord"
i woke up and the dog was eating spaghetti off my chest.
This was just another one of those days you wished you had a penis-size indicator instead of wasting your time isn't it?
You told the cop at mobil to keep it real and look both ways before crossing the street.
This Pinterest wedding planning is a good distraction. I'm great at this, my imaginary wedding is beautiful
I think I've forgotten how to blink. Help plz?
He said the main reason he fucked me was cause of my storm trooper tattoo. IT ATTRACHES ALL THE HOT NERDS
Should I put the money for my dealer in a Christmas card? You know, make it more frstive?
dude new orleans is fucking wild these two guys just performed dueling banjos except they were actually fighting with the banjos
So congratulations, your penis has now sent me to urgent care not once, but twice!
i dont believe you. i want proof. if you end up at a hospital send me a pic.
I don't know why this person would ask for help. It sounds pretty OK to me. Also, I'd steal those bagpipes.
Last thing googled on my laptop last night was vagina chaffing. What the fuck?
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