I realized today that the only reason you made out with Travis is because he has nice teeth
we sang "a whole new world" together. either he's my gay best friend or the love of my life.
A cab driver remembered me by name, address, and ex fuck buddys nick name from a year ago. I mustve been one memorable shit show.
I couldn't remember if it was hamsters or Iraq that you hated. I'm so sorry.
We followed the campus tour around in a golf cart drinking PBR and blasting "Sexual Healing."
There was a community pot of Ramen, and if you were in the pool you were either fully clothes or ass naked.
at which point he tried to give himself a prince albert piercing with the stapler on his desk.
She keeps telling me I can't keep feeding the dog my food. I gave half the weed brownie to the dog and half to me. I just want it to taste the greatness of cheezits like I am.
Tommorow.Eggs Benedict and surprise blowjob day
IT'S A FUCKING GIANT POKEBALL MAD OUT OF TINY ROSES
At my place... I'm gonna be honest though stonewall Jackson is not going to be able to rally the troops. Too many shots of tequila
I don't know how Dave is alive, I feel like he's been drinking since I met him.
I'm currently on a bowling date with my girlfriend and her boyfriend. It's pretty fun.
Walking back to my car from the campus library and just saw a Nuva Ring on the sidewalk. If that doesn't scream college life, idk what does.
Literally just stood behind a guy in line at Walmart get his card declined when he attempted to purchase condoms. That's rock bottom.
Randomize
