Whatever. They have the same name, so it's not even cheating. It's brand loyalty.
Does it bother you that I left your underwear hanging in a tree at the zoo? i think the turtles are enjoying it.
seriously i just wanna be friends
pass
it's like her boobs came off with her bra
You insisted on drinking champagne out of the dog bowl
well considering we left the bathroom with the mirror off the wall, a bloody nose, and clothes all messed up they assume im just a coke whore now..
If it's not soft enough to fuck on, then we're not getting the new rug.
I blacked out after you got about 8 goldfish out of the tank and put them in your pockets. We're not allowed back. It was a sucky Walmart anyway...
I just debated creating a mirror system so I could play Batman while in the bathroom. I think I need help.
I already knew that. But I also don't agree with stifling creativity.
You're not supposed to support this behaviour, btw the judge recognized me
Like "oh its Monday, gotta get wasted today!" not "oh its Monday.. Gotta go to class"
Let's get drunk and put things on the grill that have no right to be there.
Happy birthday, America.
Had a dream I was doing scat with Caroline. I need to lay off the cheese at night
I'm soaking her vibrators in tabasco and wasabi paste. "furious" is an understatement
And then he tried to convince me that he could wear a condom instead of pants to go out.
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