White wifebeaters are like orgies with fat people. Enjoyable in private, i'm sure, but in public: no thanksss.
Maury Povich's contact info is in our database at work...i should steal it right?
I want to get so wasted that I make middle aged irish men look like mormon girls
why is allison so mad at me??
me and her walked into dans and you yelled "hello my dear alli, you're looking mighty overweight today!".
crap..
I buy you gas. You blow me. Economics.
He started doing the gator chop at my vag and said he couldn't wait to "chomp" on it later...and I still slept with him. I hate gainesville.
Im done having sex . he ruined it for me after he said " can we use my penis as a shovel ?"
Guess who just screamed "Everything happens for a reason!!" in the abortion clinic. This girl.
On a scale of 1-10 how seriously are we considering being sugar babies?
I'm about a 7.95
Cops are just so fun an beautifuk
I just power smoked 3 bongs, ate hot cocoa mix before making hot cocoa, and realized James Spader's character on The Office reminds me of your mom.
I am sitting in my lingerie, eating frozen cookie dough out of a bowl, and watching family. My hump day is going great
WHY ARE THE COPS ALWAYS AT DENNYS WHEN IMDRUNK!?
I am in no place to make rational decisions, but right now i want you inside me
Some nights you do cocaine till 5:00 in the morning, and the next night you teach yourself how to crochet. It’s called balance.
Randomize
