You're completely useless in the revolution.
Ugh, here's a dating tip. Hairy legs are a major turn off
whenever music plays i find myself always doing kegels to the beat. its like the new foot-tapping
I dig being used for consequence free sex. Not consequenceful sex.
I don't understand why everytime I fuck his bestfriend he seems more interested in me...
chlamydia ends and my period begins. this isnt real life
They were fighting, but then they bumped into the bong and it shattered. After that they just hugged and cried.
He fell and asked for a beer and a band-aid.
HE GOT FOURTEEN STICHES
Also I smoked away my sore throat last night. It's a 420 miracle.
I need to shotgun another beer. Where's the machete?
The gay viking and his eqyptian 'queen' hooked up on our couches. They pushed them together to make a bed. Innovative, but awkward to come home from work to at 7 am.
work has become about six times more interesting since i started fucking my boss.
This breakup hit defcon 5. Walked to pathmark with a denim jacket over my nightgown to get ben and jerrys. On sale btw.
Stoned, drunk, and walking into the library. Look at me multitasking!
Once again, marijuana saves me from going to jail
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