i think guys can sense when i'm not wearing underwear
Deadliest Catch is NOT foreplay
I don't care if he is my ex... I have the deed to his dick until someone else fucks him. We broke up 2 years ago.... I am still holding that deed!
So apparently I shook her hand very polite, said weiner and walked away
He came in my eye, I lost my earring and all of his friends saw me topless. Happy New Year to you as well.
in the middle of giving him head in the backseat of my car he taps me on the shoulder, opens the door, throws up three times and then proceeds to tell me how amazing i am.
You know our reunion in two weeks shall be a drunken bikini clad magical adventure right
Drinking heavily at 3pm and about to rescue a 30lb street turtle. Dont even bother attempting to rise to this level bitch
I'll be visiting the rave tower. Prepare your finest boxed wines for my consumption.
Just considered playing a drinking game with powerade with my sister so she would get some fluids in her. I do so well with sick people.
My sister just poured me a dbl Ciroc on the rocks and said "the ice makes it festive." Honestly what a role model.
You told your boyfriend he needed to fuck you in the tree because it would make you guys one with nature.
Did he?
Straight up last night my mom was like josh you need to find a job that doesn't include the selling or transporting of drugs
we f'd six times
f'd?
its sunday, i cant say fucked
Your parents are gone and we haven't fucked in their bed... why?
Randomize
