fuck the hobbit
what about unicorns?
fuck those pointy horses
imagine if we didn have a dick. we would be so much more productive
How far into the semester do we have to be before it's ok to get drunk in between classes again?
The cops just drove by on their loudspeaker going DO NOT DRINK THE WATAHH
I love boston
My sister got her picture in the pub crawl section of the paper today and my dad said to me "why can't you be more like her?"
He came up and told us to watch as he chugged his beer with no hands. Then asked if he could come drunk swimming with us.
I'm giving you an age limit on the people you're allowed to hit on at steak n shake at 3 am. I can't see straight and I want a cheeseburger. You want dick. I'm sure we can't order at least one of those. But maybe.
Naw man, if he's crazy enough to jerk off on a public bus he's too crazy for me to fuck with
There is a check pinned to the wall at Connor's. It's a check I wrote for $1,000,000... To you. Clearly you made out well on St. Patrick's day. Thanks for being too shitfaced to remember to grab that.
Besides, I'm booked tomorrow. I'm planning on drinking heavily and crying in the bath.
I was like sure, i'll have a drink or two to end the night early. Next thing i know theres a ton of dudes in my house and like 3 gallons of wine. I cant do anything in moderation.
I know it's 10:30am but Finding Dory starts in an hour, and I have four points of molly. You down?
we didn't even throw knives this time! it was just the carrot peeler
A drunk and bleeding peter is knocking on your door... in nothing more than a sombrero, boxers and cowboy boots.
have you ever tried to puke in an automatic flushing toilet? impossible
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