I sk at the spereo and my dad gave me and all access pass
what???
AN ALL ACCESS PASSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSS
he also called and said i only cheated on you 8 times but they were all trannies
and someone in the background yelling "one was fat so that counts as one and a half"
question: from what angle do you give a hand job. im confused..
Nothing kills the mood more than a jesus song.
She fell asleep on the sidewalk and people starting using her as a hurdle
Not going to lie- I'm a little freaked out camping right now. This is one of those high activities you don't do by yourselves...or close to bears
Remember that night I drank a bunch of vodka, pounded your Jameson because 'you were a pussy', punched you in the face and ran off as fast as my high heels could go? It was just my Russian and Irish sides fighting for genetic dominance
Congratulations on your lack of fetus.
I was gonna turn him down, but he correctly identified a song from Pocahontas.
So none of you told me my tits were popping out of my shirt for three hours?
We told you. Repeatedly. You said you made it look good.
I actually haven't slept with anyone in a while. I think my whore phase is just seasonal.
I accused him of not drinking enough alcohol and eating tacos after midnight. I was sober and he's not a gremlin. I would say bad.
i'm gonna crowd surf you onto his dick
Is it rude to send him a, "happy birthday, I hope you finally get an STD" text?
I think I'm the first girl to break a bed with a guy, without even having sex with him while doing so.
Randomize
