I love black thongs
Yeah I gave the girl a dirty look. And only a three dollar tip.
I really like you and I'm tired of just hooking up. I want you be my boyfriend.
Uhh, I'm not breaking up with my girlfriend to be with you.
if you made me into a cookie and threw me into a betty crocker easy bake oven on christmas morning...that's how baked i am
I wish we had a justin bieber to wanna fuck when we were younger... But noooo we just had hanson
She goes outside, smokes 2 cigarettes, and insists on walking up the 7 flights of stairs so that her heart stays in shape. this woman is crazy.
I was unaware that a tutu and pasties was appropriate attire to this
she said she was living bicuriously through me.
Chalk up having sex in a car wash.
I poured myself a glass of chocolate chips at some point during the evening.
Guess whose mug shot is NOT on the Internet anymore?!?!
The weekend is off to a good start: she just got into a verbal fight with a hobo. Nearly a fist fight.
I'm pretty sure at any given moment you could wring out my liver and get a couple of shots of jäger.
I thought I was pretty much sober now but then I realized I've been eating scrambled eggs with my hands...
When I went to pick up Adam from the train station, I found him passed out, covered in gold paint and wrapped in a red blanket. someone had glued a gaudy green rhinestone to his forehead. He looked homeless.
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